Well who’d have thunk it, the once sexy Madonna is rapidly approaching old age.

Known for her addiction to the gym, far from enhancing her appearance and staving of the ravages of time, Madonna’s exercise regime seems to be aging her more at an accelerated rate.

Madonna begins her day with a punishing three-hour session of Ashtanga yoga, followed by a Pilates session before lunch.

I think she should skip the exercise and just eat a little. Not much she can do about those veiny hands now though.

This is the result of puffer fish breeding. You can see the signs, bloated face, sunken eyes and the complete loss of facial features.

There are rumors that she is pregnant, in which case, the pictures of her shoveling too much into her face is just a nasty coincidence and has no relation to her genes.

It could be worse though, she could take after her mother.

Seems like Lindsay Lohan is not into older men (or they’re not into her) any more.

Hostel director Eli Roth posted this little tit bit on his Myspace blog.

“I was having drinks with a friend at the Beverly Hills Hotel the other night, and Lindsay Lohan walked by our booth with a girlfriend, checking us out. She then went out to the bathroom, turned around, came back and walked by us again, and mumbled to her friend too old, and kept walking.”

“Now - she’s absolutely correct - but it was still pretty f***ing hilarious. Especially since we were in the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel - where the average age is 97. If you look too old in there you’re f***ked! Time to hit the Botox!”

Strange, I seem to remember that Lindsay was meant to have had a fling with Bruce Willis, among other older men.

[Source]

You know things are bad when your father thinks you are a greedy bitch.

That is the fate of Heather Mills. Her father has this to day on her divorce fight with Paul McCartney. Continue reading…

Welcome to Perezhiltop.com.

Join Perez in looking down your nose at all the celebrities.